Learning to Breathe

The lyrics to this song really hit home for me right now, so I thought I would post them on here for all of you...

Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

So this is the way
that I say
that I need You
This is the way
This is the way

That I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone
can break my fall
I'm living again,
awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Hello, good morning, how ya been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never thought I could fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone
can break my fall
I'm living again,
awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

So this is the way
that I say that I need You
This is the way
That I say I love You
This is the way
That I say I'm Yours
This is the way
This is the way

Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot

Lately...(a snapshot of my life over the past 4 months)

Wow...I haven't posted on here in a LONG time! sorry to all of my readers, if there are any! :) There is so much to say that I feel as though I could write a small book (perhaps, not so small). This summer was fantastic, although I spent the majority of it away from home. My family and I spent three weeks in northern Africa and then were able to tour Europe afterwards. It was an experience that I will never forget. We were gone a total of 5 weeks and by the time we got back home...I think we were all overjoyed that we didn't have to live out of a suitcase anymore. It was weird coming back because since we had been moving around so much during the summer, it felt abnormal to just stay put and NOT be getting on the next train, taxi, or some form of transportation to arrive at our next destination.

God taught me many, many things over the summer...some easier to explain than others. The main thing that I think I learned was that I need to rely totally, utterly, and completely on God. Spending 5 weeks away from home was not easy, on the contrary, it was VERY difficult, but I learned that God IS everything that I need...and that's it! He is my all...that was eye-opening.

I also learned how lightly I can take my own faith sometimes. I got a chance to see, throughout my vacation unstoppable faith and trust in Christ, lived out. I think we so often take for granted the blessings that we constantly have around us, and I was able to tangibly see what it would be like to live without them. I had to question my own faith and ask myself, "Back home in my everyday life, do I live like the verse "to live is Christ and to die is gain"? " My outlook and view of God was stretched considerably as I saw just HOW MUCH He is truly capable of doing. Wow...I don't think I will ever doubt His power again!

The third thing I learned is very close to my heart and very applicable to the stage of life that I'm in right now. God showed me that He, and He alone, must be #1. That sounds so basic, but I, many times, in my stupidity, forget to apply that to all aspects of my life! My passion is missions and sharing the gospel, but I really had to stop and ask myself, "Am I really willing to give up whatever it takes for God's glory? Or is it only under certain circumstances that I will sacrifice for the sake of the call?" Overall, there is so much to say about the summer that I could go on forever, but those are just a few things that God opened my eyes to while I was away.

Now, I am in school, and busy as ever, finishing up my senior year in college! yikes! I am worried about grades, essays, midterms, finals, homework, and much much more! But, I trust Christ to get me through it...He has never let me down...and so...I press on.

Summer Camp '007

So...i finally got a chance to write another blog...I got back from camp about a two weeks ago and God did big things.


I don't even know where to start. I learned so much. Camp was fun...girl time, group time, game time, but especially God time. At this camp there was a really great opportunity for me to spend time just talking to God and growing my relationship with him. I was really able to see Him working in my life and I was able grow closer in my relationship with Him. Many people think that God is an impersonal God, God showed me in many, many ways this camp that He cares about me and wants to have a relationship with me.


The main thing that God showed me was my sin...but at the same time His grace. His abounding, incredible, surrounding, forgiving, merciful grace. Recently, I have almost had an obsession with God's grace and the realization of it. I was overwhelmed by God's grace and my sin and they both coupled together into a beautiful love story. I was also overwhelmed and overjoyed by the fact that God saved me in spite of me. Tom said something that really hit home for me: God who is everything, takes you who is nothing, and makes you something. The essence of that is so simple yet so profound.


God also increased my love for the lost because I had opportunities where I was able to tangibly minister to people who weren't believers. Bethany, a girl in my group (and also my really good friend), said something to me and it made perfect sense to me. We were talking about lives before knowing Christ. She said, talking about life without Christ, "you don't really know what empty is until you're full". The beauty of being filled by Christ is something that i guess I have taken for granted since I have become a believer but if I think about life without Him, I don't know where I'd be and it's a scary thought to be sure.

God also taught me to trust Him. I know that He's in control of the details, but actually trusting Him with the details seemed to be easier said than done. I was having a hard time doing that but God just revealed to me that it is foolishness not to trust Him, because whether I trust Him or not doesn't change what happens because the truth is: He is in control of my life and all the details that go with it no matter what.

Aside from what God taught I was really able to grow the friendships with my d-group girls and other amazing people in my life and that fellowship was a huge blessing. I am really excited that God has me in Student Ministries and I am there with a purpose. I hope I will be able to serve Him in my last two years of Student Ministries. I want to make His name is known in whatever way I can and I want to serve Him with all of my heart! I know that He has me on this earth ultimately for a purpose, which is to bring Him glory and spread His name and I pray that He would give me the courage and the strength to accomplish my mission; to finish the race set before me!

a longer blog is coming soon...

Hey everyone! I just got back from camp! God did some amazing stuff! I promise I will make sure to post as soon as I possibly can I just need to get my thoughts together a little bit more so check back for posts soon!

someday my prince will come...so what should I do with today?

It seems as though every girl's dream is to grow up and get married. Most girls have their wedding day planned and all the details arranged...now all they need is to find that special someone. Something that I've noticed lately is that many girls act as though their lives don't begin until they're married. Now, don't get me wrong, I desperately want to get married but guess what...God has a different plan for my life right now. Why not take advantage of singleness and serve God with passion and purpose?



Yes, it's fun for us as girls to sit around a daydream about 'prince charming', but we should pursue glorifying God where He has us right now. It's easy for us as girls to get carried away with the wonder and excitement of dating and marriage and we often even create a fantastical impression in our minds of how we think it all should work...but sorry to rain on everyone's parade, Mr. Right can never be perfect because he's a human being and so are we.



I myself am a hopeless romantic so I am more preaching to myself than anything just so you all are aware. I look forward to the exciting adventure of finding the one person meant for me, the wedding day, and the years to come...but that's not here yet. Instead of waisting my life away until marriage, or in other words putting my life on hold, I want to use it for God's glory. One of my friends told me today that it's not all about the wedding day, the details of the event, and the beauty of that day; it's about the years to come after that day that you'll spend with the person you marry. These are just some random thoughts going on in my mind so I thought I'd write them down for you all to read.

when i am weak, then He is strong

Hmmm...tonight was interesting... :)

There are so many amazing things going on in my life now...I don't even really know where to start. I wake up every day feeling so blessed by God for everything and everyone in my life. Being out of school has been wonderful especially looking back now and realizing how faithful God was to me throughout my first year at ASU.

I am so excited because Summer Camp '07 is coming up in about two weeks. I am really getting to know some of my new freshman well and I love them very much and look forward to getting to know them even better at camp! I am really praying that God would do big things in my group and that we would become much closer with each other and with God.

It strikes me as funny because every time I grow closer to God, I see my inadequacy and my inability to do anything without Christ! I am really praying that at camp God would work in my heart to truly show me the magnificence of His grace and the complete utter wretch that I am. I am so grateful that Christ saved me....where would I be without Him? (that question makes me shudder so I would prefer not to answer it presently...)

Anyways, that's it for now...currently I'm just reveling in God's goodness! Until Summer Camp '07!

Freedom

After a long, grueling, difficult, last semester of my junior year at ASU...I am done! I remember thinking just a couple weeks ago..."don't talk about finals, I don't want to think about how close they are...yikes!!!" and now they are finally over. Praise the Lord...He is always faithful! He got me through..even yesterday I didn't know how I was going to get through the day, but here I am...alive and well! I now have a 3 month break which will be amazing...just not much of a break...

This summer will consist of a moving into rental home in Tempe across the street from ASU to do ministry by June 1st, going to 2 continents I have never been to for 5 weeks and much much more including hanging with friends, just chillin', sharing the gospel, and many fun adventures!

By the way, we need lots of help moving so if anyone is interested in helping, let me know cause we'll definitely have things you could do to help! And...to all of you who haven't finished your finals yet...the end is near; don't give up and FINISH STRONG!

the blog you're about to read!

Well, after a long pause in blogging I have returned to the blogosphere...

Out of a lack of creativity, I have called this blog "The Blog You're About to Read!"...so we'll see how this goes...

I am currently taking a Theology Overview class and I'm learning quite a bit...actually most of it are things that I had already learned, but I am being reminded of things and they are becoming more real to me than ever before.

Have you ever had that weird occurence where you know something, a basic truth of some sort, but all of a sudden, after perhaps reading something or remembering something, that basic truth becomes crystal clear as though it were the first time you had ever heard it; almost as though it became real at that moment for you? You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but I had one of those moments...that kind that bring you back on your knees when you were least expecting it.

I was reading about the process of sanctification and how it is a process that occurs after salvation over your entire life span, through which you grow more and more to be like Christ. And...it hit me...of course I've heard it a thousand times, but...God has been so gracious and merciful to begin a work in me and unlike any human being, who would grow impatient or angry after I fail the first few times, He's going to complete that work in my life. God didn't only show His grace and mercy through the cross; He is consistently, everyday, revealing that to me. His mercies truly are new every morning. And for a wretch like me, that truly is great news.

I know that this basic truth seems so simple, but it's so monumental in my life. It's not like Christ forgave all of my sins after conversion and got me to a neutral point, a point where I then had to earn my way to Him. He forgave even the sins that I have yet to commit. My sins are paid in full! What joy that gives my heart!

This song by Ginny Owens has really just been the prayer of my heart...that God would sanctify me and mold me to be more and more like Him.

Own Me

Got a stack of books so I could learn how to live;
Many are left half-read covered by the cobwebs on my shelf.
And I got a list of laws growing longer everyday;
If I keep pluggin away, maybe one day Ill perfect myself.
Oh, but all of my labor seems to be in vain;
And all of my laws just cause me more pain;
So I fall before you in all of my shame;
Ready and willing to be changed

Own me
Take all that I am,
And heal me!
With the blood of the lamb.
Mold me with your gracious hand;
Break me till Im only yours-
Own me!

You call me daughter,
And take my blame;
You run to meet me,
As I cry out your name,
So I fall before you in all of my shame,
Lord, I am ready to be changed

Winter Camp '07

Well, I got back last weekend from Winter Camp '07...and it was very different from what I was expecting...

About a month and a half ago, God put something in my life and brought some sin to my attention that I didn't want to deal with. I knew it was there, but I was comfortable in my sin...and even though I knew my focus should have been on God...it wasn't. I went to Caborca and encountered immense conviction about this sin I was dealing with, but my heart was unwilling to change. Conviction was never followed by action.

I tried to prepare for camp because I wanted to grow, but the preparation never really took place and while I thought I was prepared, I had no idea that my heart was about to be broken. I got to camp and was just worried about this situation in my life that I didn't want to deal with, that was distracting me from Christ. My heart was twisted and caught up in emotions. I was focused on other things when my focus needed to be on Christ. I had made the mistake that I think so many of us as believers make, of slowly letting other things creep in and take priority of our lives and become little idols in our hearts.

Luke Simmons taught at Winter Camp about the story of the prodigal son; a story I've heard many a time, but I had never really seen my reflection through it or looked at the story the way Luke told it. Luke showed the father in the story as God, our Father and that each of us could relate with at least one of the sons in the story. I realized that when Luke was talking about the prodigal son, that was me, wild and rebellious, trying to run away from God, asking things from Him, but not actually wanting HIM only.
I also realized that I was the older brother, faithfully serving God, with the completely wrong motives. I was also living a religious life, a life that honored God with my words, but my heart wasn't in it, only out for the same goal, to receive things from Him, but not actually desiring HIM alone.

I had said over and over that I wanted to come home. I wanted to come back to Christ. But, they were just words...and my heart wasn't ready for the rollercoaster that, thankfully, my leader was willing to put me through to bring me back to Christ. I knew ultimately that Christ would bring me home, but I had become too comfortable with my own sin. I talked to my leader for about an hour and a half during our one-on-one and she asked me to make some radical changes in my life. Some of the stuff she wanted me to do, would make me have to give up my sin, but my heart was hard and I was dragging my sin around with me, focused on the sin, and not on God. Thankfully, God was breaking down walls to bring me back home, back to where I needed to be because I wasn't willing myself.

Through the course of one weekend, God was softening a hard heart and a bunch of built up emotions came flowing freely. Since my leader was trying to help me get rid of my sin, my heart responded with anger and bitterness. My sin was still holding on with a death grip, but God is stronger than any sin and He was going to bring me home.

By that night, I was so distracted, frustrated, and confused that it made me incapable to worship. We were singing the song 'Came to my rescue':

Falling on my knees in worship,

Giving all I am to seek Your face

Lord all I am is is Yours

My whole life I place in Your hands

God of mercy

Humbled I bow down

In your presence at Your throne

I called You answered

And You came to my rescue and I,

Wanna be where You are

In my life be lifted high

In our world be lifted high

In our love be lifted high

While we were singing this song I kept asking God, "I called to You, why didn't you come to my rescue?". I went out to communion, in the bitter cold, with a heart that matched the weather, bitter and cold. I knew that Jesus was bigger then my sin, but why wouldn't he just come to my rescue when I needed Him the most. About two minutes before communion, I came to myself, I had one of those realization moments. I just asked myself, "What are you doing here? How did you get here? COME HOME!". My heart finally broke, the burden of my sin left and I cried out to God and just told Him, "I can't come home on my own! I need you to bring me home, because I obviously can't do it alone". Immediately God took all the confusion, distraction and frustration away and allowed me to see His will in everything, not mine, and I could see the truth that He came to my rescue, it just wasn't in the way I expected Him to; He brought me home. And now I'm sweetly broken.

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling

Of its suffering I do drink

Of its work I do sing

For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed

Showed that God is love

And God is just

At the cross You beckon me

You draw me gently to my knees,

and I am

Lost for words, so lost in love,

I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life

Have I been given

Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death

You’ve called me into life

And I was under Your wrath

Now through the cross I’m reconciled

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees,
and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

In awe of the cross I must confess

How wondrous Your redeeming love and

How great is Your faithfulness

Snow...

Just to inform all of you...

IT WAS SNOWING TODAY...

burrrrr....freezing cold...but very exciting...!!!

finals, my birthday, christmas...so many things...

Hmmm...well this blog is definitely a mumble-jumble of things...I finished finals finally (no pun intended) Praise the Lord!!! and even though I haven't gotten my grades back yet...I think that they all went quite well, which is definitely a praise! Now that I am on this wonderful thing called break that you wait for the entire semester...my mind has been able to relax a little and focus on Christmas. My birthday was also on Tuesday and my parents blessed me by finally, after 15 years, let me move into my OWN room (and I totally get to redecorate it)! Unfortunately I had a final that day so there wasn't much celebration that day exactly, but Wednesday and Thursday were great! My dad took me out for breakfast on Wednesday morning and Thursday night...my sister surprised me with a surprise birthday party!

I was getting a little suspicious after she had been on the phone ALL DAY! As many of you know, my sister is not a huge phone person...she actually doesn't like it very much at all! But, we had already planned, (or so I thought) to have a get-together on Saturday...so I thought there might be something special on Saturday or something like that! I went to chorale practice for church and mysteriously, my sister had to babysit for my cousins...for which we ALWAYS babysit together. Casie Neal, one of my friends, took me to chorale practice and surprisingly, we got out over an hour early, so poor Casie and Becca, another good friend of mine, had to buy some time by taking me to Starbucks and then to the grocery store to get soda...I thought that was a little weird! They were so sneaky...they didn't say a word. They dropped me off and pretended to start to drive away. I rang the doorbell three times, thinking that the door was locked and when no one came I decided to try it...of course it was unlocked and as soon as I got in the door, what do you know but EVERYONE was there! I was in shock! They came jumping out everywhere! It was crazy...I definitely felt very loved. My mom/sister had cooked a lovely dinner and it was amazing...all my favorite foods...yum! After talking for quite awhile, we cleared the floor and started swing dancing, which, of course, was so much fun and at around 11:30 pm...we all got a "bright" idea to start a movie. The night was amazing and I blessed more than I could have ever imagined. I really meant a lot to me that everyone was there and I could tell how much thought and effort had been put into it by my family and my friends! Thanks to everyone who was there!

Now Christmas is coming up and it's time to start thinking about what to get everyone, but more importantly the true meaning of Christmas and how God came in the form of man, a baby actually, to live a life on this earth and eventually die to save us from our sins! What great hope, truth, and sacrifice! Christmas is my favorite time of year and there are so many things to look forward to!

MY SPORTS CAR...yeah that's right!

I'm a Chevrolet Corvette!

You're a classic - powerful, athletic, and competitive. You're all about winning the race and getting the job done. While you have a practical everyday side, you get wild when anyone pushes your pedal. You hate to lose, but you hardly ever do.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

time, trusting, and falling back on Christ (a mumble-jumble of all my thoughts lately)

hmmm...

It's funny how life comes at you...you never really realize how fast time goes by until its gone, at least I never do...

It seems like the semester just began. God has been so gracious to bring me through the many trials that have come my way since the beginning. Now I'm facing finals and I'm realizing that I'm just gonna have to trust Him to do it again. Honestly, a lot of times I feel like I can do it on my own and then I fall backwards and realize that I'm borrowing God's air and I can't live without Him sustaining me. So, I've basically come to grips with the fact that if I pass finals it will be all because of Him.

As I was thinking about that, I realized that the reason that I'm this far along in school is to glorify Him. Sometimes, when I examine my own heart, I realize that many times I take the glory for myself. I find my mind drifting so far as to start believing that I got myself to where I am now, when in fact, it's all because of Christ. I want the reason that I live to be all for Christ and not for me. I want the glory to go to Him. I want people to look at where I am in school and in the long run, my life, and be able to not say, "Wow, look what she did!", but instead to say, "Wow! Look what Christ has done in her. Isn't He awesome!".

So now the time has come to trust Him again, because He is faithful to never leave us or forsake us. Because just like the verse says, "When I am weak, then HE is strong". May it be that way in me. Anyways, I thought I would let you all know about my life currently, and now I must get back to studying.

The Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World

Ok, so here's the blog I promised all of you and just to prove to certain people that I wasn't lying (see comments on previous post), I have written a blog about my trip to Minneapolis for a conference about the Supremacy of Christ in a Postmodern World. So here it goes...

At the conference there were 6 main speakers, who were Tim Keller, D. A. Carson, David Wells, Mark Driscoll, John Piper, and Voddie Baucham. The last three of these amazing men of the faith were the ones that left more of an impact on me than the first three although all of the speakers did an amazing job. I hope that I can explain to you in a clear and concise manner all that I have learned, but since I know that is nigh on impossible the following is my best effort to attain that standard...

Voddie Baucham was the first out of these three men, to speak and he did a phenomenal job. Here are some of my notes from his teaching of the Supremacy of Christ in Truth:

What I learned from Voddie Baucham:

There are two main worldviews:

~Christian Theism
~Secular Humanism

Christian theism believes that there is a necessary, intelligent, sovereign, all-knowing God. Some other unchanging beliefs of Christian theism is that all humans are specially made and that the ethics that we as humans have ethics, which are absolute.

Secular humanism believes truth is relative and humans are glorified ape-like creatures. Secular humanism also believes that ethics are based on culture so your ethics really all depend on your culture.

Voddie stated that in the course of every human life a person will strive to answer the following 4 questions:

Who am I?
Why am I here?
What is wrong with the world?
How can what is wrong be made right?

The answers to these questions according to secular humanism are stated below:

Who am I? I am a glorified ape-like creature without rhyme or reason.
Why am I here? I am on this earth to consume and enjoy.
What is wrong with the world? The reason the world is off is that humans are insufficiently educated and/or governed.

The true biblical answers to these questions are stated below:

Who am I? I am the crowning glory of God's creation, created by Christ and for Christ.
Why am I here? We are not here to consume and enjoy, rather to glorify and honor Christ.
What is wrong with the world? Me!!! I am hostile in mind and engaged in evil deeds.
How can what is wrong be made right? It can only be made right through the sacrifice of Christ. The spotless, sinless Son of God was crushed for our iniquity.

Voddie also said that if you are asking the question:

"How can God be so good and all-knowing and let bad things happen?" you need to rephrase the question. The correct way to state the question is "How is it that God saw what I did yesterday and what I thought last night and did not kill me in my sleep?". Once you have stated the question in this way, then the topic is open for discussion.

The following are some of my notes from Mark Driscoll:

Many times, in our culture, Jesus's incarnation or His supernatural being are exaggerated, so people don't seem to be able to relate or imitate Jesus. Both of these views of Christ are faulty; we serve a God bigger than that.

In order to face the postmodern world that we live in today we must do 2 things:

1. Contend for the truth.

Contend for truth always without compromising. Contend for things such as the scriptures, the virgin birth, sovereignty of God, hell, etc.

2. Contextualize.

Share the gospel in such a way that you are not compromising in any way on truth, but you are still being relevant and in the culture in order to win some.

It is not compassionate to withhold the truth of Jesus Christ's subsitutionary atonement.

Finally, don't be seeker-sensitive, be seeker-sensible.
Don't have relavitism, have relevantism.

What I learned from John Piper:

1. God - the Father - the Son, and the Holy Spirit, this one God, is the only Being that has no beginning and no end, therefore, we all must rely on Him for being and value.

We are so much lower in value than the triune God - Isaiah 40:15-17

2. Since the beginning God has been supremely joyful, therefore he had no deficiency or need to create this world.

3. God created mankind in His image for His own glory; to display His glory.

Psalm 9
Colossians 1:27
2 Cor. 4:6
Isaiah 66:5

Joy comes from knowing the glory of God.

4. Christ came to earth, lived and died, so that we might know Him, in order to be fitted to serve Him forever.

What the law could not do, weak as it was in the flesh, God did by sending Jesus to die.

Nothing is more crucial for humanity, but to escape the wrath of the infinite God.
1 Peter 3:18

5. The enjoyment of God above is the deepest way, in which His glory is reflected back to Him.

Joy was designed by God. Joy rises as a witness to something that you treasure. There is no hypocritical joy.

6. The enjoyment of Christ is the spring of all visible acts of self-denying, sacrificial love that is displayed to others, which shows how important God is to us. Matthew 5:16

Rejoice that Christianity is so weird. We have an amazing perfect Savior in heaven; His name is Jesus. The postmodern culture needs to hear the gospel, but they also need to see sacricial love on our part.

7. The only joy that reflects the Word of God and overflwos in God-glorifying love is rooted in the true knowledge of God.

Nehemiah 8:12
John 17:13
1 Samuel 3:21

Jesus is honored when we know and enjoy Him fully.

8. The right knowledge of God and His ways is the servant of God-glorifying joy and the love for His people.

If you cut truth out of friendship, then the joy that comes from that friendship will not honor God.

9. Let us not marginalize or minimize the doctrine, the gospel, the truth.

10. May the church become the buttress of truth, and therefore of love, and joy and display God's glory which is the very reason we were created.

There is one more thing that I learned from this amazing conference and that is this (something that all the speaker's stated):

We have no other Jesus to give to this postmodern culture. He is the same today and for all eternity and He is the only one that is truly capable of saving a person from their utter and complete bondage to sin.

Anyways, these are just my thoughts on the conference. I hope that they make sense, and since I know that I could not do the conference justice, the audio is free at desiringgod.org. I would highly reccomend that you listen to the entire conference because it was awesome!

promise

Ok...I just wanted to state that I just got back from one of the most amazing conferences I've ever been to. I would also like to promise you all that as soon as I have my thoughts together I will post!!! I promise...

Finally Back to the Blogger World

Wow! It has been a long time since I have posted...sorry guys...I've been pretty busy...

Just to let you all know, school has been going well. I am still looking for opportunities to openly share, but I have had some chances to let the people in my classes know that I'm a believer.

Something that I've been thinking about lately is this:

Why must we, as Christians, brothers and sisters in Christ, argue over small, tiny issues?

Now I know to many of you out there, this sounds a little, judgmental and at times, hypocritical but I am talking to myself to. I honestly have been pondering this for quite some time and even though I think it is good to discuss doctrine and try to reason certain biblical issues, I believe that many times discussion turns into more heated discussion, and finally, if the issue is not solved, it turns into an argument. Now I know that you can grow from "tense", but nevertheless fruitful discussions, but is an argument over a controversial issue really loving in God's sight. Do our arguments always resemble this:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8Love never fails.

~1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Yeah, I know, people will be saying, "Man, Amy, you're so judgmental, arguments aren't all bad. You can learn stuff through them that you never knew before!", but seriously, think about it...once a discussion gets to the point of argument is it showing the love of Christ? Also, is it really what you would define as "fruitful" conversation? What I have found to be true is this: once a conversation reaches to the argument point, the only purpose left in the conversation is to prove your point no matter what the cost. No one can deny that. If you were truly out for the good of the other person involved, it never would have reached the argument point, but what I have noticed in myself is that once the conversation turns into a full-fledged argument, I have to physically bite my tongue to stop myself from continuing because my natural instinct and tendency is to absolutely totally and completely make sure, under all circumstances to have the last say in the matter to PROVE MY POINT! It is engrained in me, a natural, sinful instinct that tells me, "You must win!". Now I know that no one is perfect, but still, where should the line be drawn with discussions and where do we actually draw the line?

Let me know what you guys think on this. I would love to hear some opinions on this issue (always in love of course)!

Gospel Opportunities

Well, every now and then our church will have specific nights where we get together a group of people and go out intentionally to share the gospel with people. This past Friday was one of those nights, actually my first time going, although I have heard a lot about them. I was assigned a partner, who was quite timid approaching people, but once the conversation had been started she was totally willing to talk and really had some great things to say. This time we went down to Mill Ave. and there were at least 2 other groups of 'christians' down there evangelizing, so my friend and I, in an effort to find people willing to talk decided to cross the street. As we were walking up to the street corner, I noticed a young man, probably mid-twenties standing on the corner passing out what my friend thought were tracts or something of the sort, but I immediately noticed that instead they were vip passes for some sort of bar with very...revealing images on them. I told my friend and we decided since we had to wait for the light that we should talk to him. We were passing out pretend million dollar bills with the gospel message on the back and I went up and asked him if he would be willing to answer a question. He immediately asked if it was the question on the million dollar bill and that he had received a ton of those and that by now he was a billionaire, basically stating that he had already answered our question ("Would you consider yourself a good person?"). He said that the people that asked him that question told him that his lifestyle and the things that he was doing were so bad that he wasn't good enough, according to God's standards, to get to heaven. We asked him what he thought about all that and he said, "Well, it sucks, but I'm not as bad as some people and that God would give him some forgiveness." He went on to say that he didn't think that he was "that bad" and that he had never killed anyone, but he said, "I'm not going to lie to you. I've had premarital sex and I go out and party all the time and go out with girls, but I'm not that bad." Thankfully my friend could relate and she started to share her testimony and how she used to stay out really late drinking and partying. She then asked him if he was happy with the way he was living. He said that he was and that someday he would change and do something with his life, but that right now he was enjoying life. My friend then continued with her story and she asked him this vital question, "Do you know where it all ended? I was 26, and I had done nothing with my life it was completely empty and I had nothing to live for." Our conversation swung into a discussion about how life is short and that we don't know when we're going to die. I went on to explain that we weren't there to judge him...we aren't good enough to get to heaven either, in fact no one is and if that's just the end of the story then what point is there to live. My friend pulled out the 2 Ways to Live tract and I walked him through it. We talked about how Jesus died for our sins on the cross to save us from hell so that we could be perfect in God's sight, covered in "the blood of the lamb". When we got to the last page I said, "There are only two ways to live and every person has to make a decision whether they want to live their own way and do what pleases them, but the consequences for that choice are obvious, or there is another way, which is submitting to God, repenting from your sins and following him." We pleaded with him to please consider what we talked to him about and at this point he seemed very serious and thankful that we had talked to him and he thanked us for talking with him and his exact words as we turned to leave were, "Thank you for talking with me, it really seems like God is with you girls." For the rest of the night the gravity of that statement weighed on my heart and I was so joyful that we were able to set an example for Christ. We forgot to ask him his name although we sat there and talked to him while several opportunities for us to cross the street passed, but it was worth it. Please be praying for him! God knows who he is and pray that he would not have rest until he comes running to Christ. Pray that the Holy Spirit would draw him to Himself.

sharper then any double-edged sword

Here's a couple verses that I just happened to read as the lightning, thunder and rain poured last night...

"Have you entered the storehouses of the snow or seen the storehouses of the hail, which I reserve for times of trouble, for days of war and battle? What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed, or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth? Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm...

Job 38:22-25


I have also recently had some trials in my life and these verses have encouraged me greatly:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

To keep me from becoming conceited because of thes surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Cor. 12:7-10

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body...Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Cor. 4:7-11, 16-18

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. IN this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!

John 16:33

And to end with a quote...

"When you have nothing left but God, then for the first time you become aware that God is enough."

~Maude Royden

A Work in Progress

Well, we've been going through the whole graduation process of high school and Community College and I must say that even though there's all this change, surprisingly, I don't feel any different. You always think that when you have your next birthday or come up on one of the huge milestones in your life that you're going to feel...oh I don't know...changed, more experienced, more mature. When I look at my life right now, all I can see is the flaws, the shortcomings, the issues, the sin. I wish so badly that I could change it all, that I could make it go away. But, I'm learning and growing, through a long, painstaking process, that I can't do it on my own.

I once read in a book an analogy that I think applies perfectly. The author gives the example of a child in a car seat in the back seat of the vehicle. The child has a small, pretend, toy wheel on their car seat to keep them entertained, which they steer violently, trying to move what they think is their car. After a while, they finally realize that they aren't driving the vehicle and that they have to sit back, enjoy the ride, and talk with the Driver (in this situation, the Almighty God). I think I am finally coming to the true realization that, unfortunately, I am that child. The fortunate part about it is that I get to sit back and converse with the Driver. What a privilege! In some ways, I love the fact that I'm not in charge, because if I was, well...let's just say...it wouldn't be good. But, I don't have to be anxious about anything, since ultimately God is in control. He's the one that runs the vehicle. He is the Driver!

Another part of me, the sinful part for sure, screams that it wants to run the show, but will it? No. I have been saved by grace...redeemed, and nothing can ever change that or snatch my salvation away.

So, I press on to attain the goal. Even when the going gets rough, when the times get hard, when the trials seem unsurmountable...I will trust in the Lord. He is my strong tower. His promise to all who trust him is that He will never leave us or forsake us and He never lies. Faith is essential! These lyrics to Strong Tower by Kutless have recently had a big impact on my life.

When I wander through the desert
And I'm longing for my home
All my dreams have gone astray
When I'm stranded in the valley
And I'm tired and all alone
It seems like I've lost my way
I go running to Your mountain
Where your mercy sets me free

[chorus]
You are my strong tower
Shelter over me
Beautiful and mighty
Everlasting King
You are my strong tower
Fortress when I'm weak
Your name is true and holy
And Your face is all I seek

In the middle of my darkness
In the midst of all my fear
You're my refuge and my hope
When the storm of life is raging
And the thunder's all I hear
You speak softly to my soul