Well, we've been going through the whole graduation process of high school and Community College and I must say that even though there's all this change, surprisingly, I don't feel any different. You always think that when you have your next birthday or come up on one of the huge milestones in your life that you're going to feel...oh I don't know...changed, more experienced, more mature. When I look at my life right now, all I can see is the flaws, the shortcomings, the issues, the sin. I wish so badly that I could change it all, that I could make it go away. But, I'm learning and growing, through a long, painstaking process, that I can't do it on my own.
I once read in a book an analogy that I think applies perfectly. The author gives the example of a child in a car seat in the back seat of the vehicle. The child has a small, pretend, toy wheel on their car seat to keep them entertained, which they steer violently, trying to move what they think is their car. After a while, they finally realize that they aren't driving the vehicle and that they have to sit back, enjoy the ride, and talk with the Driver (in this situation, the Almighty God). I think I am finally coming to the true realization that, unfortunately, I am that child. The fortunate part about it is that I get to sit back and converse with the Driver. What a privilege! In some ways, I love the fact that I'm not in charge, because if I was, well...let's just say...it wouldn't be good. But, I don't have to be anxious about anything, since ultimately God is in control. He's the one that runs the vehicle. He is the Driver!
Another part of me, the sinful part for sure, screams that it wants to run the show, but will it? No. I have been saved by grace...redeemed, and nothing can ever change that or snatch my salvation away.
So, I press on to attain the goal. Even when the going gets rough, when the times get hard, when the trials seem unsurmountable...I will trust in the Lord. He is my strong tower. His promise to all who trust him is that He will never leave us or forsake us and He never lies. Faith is essential! These lyrics to Strong Tower by Kutless have recently had a big impact on my life.
When I wander through the desert
And I'm longing for my home
All my dreams have gone astray
When I'm stranded in the valley
And I'm tired and all alone
It seems like I've lost my way
I go running to Your mountain
Where your mercy sets me free
[chorus]
You are my strong tower
Shelter over me
Beautiful and mighty
Everlasting King
You are my strong tower
Fortress when I'm weak
Your name is true and holy
And Your face is all I seek
In the middle of my darkness
In the midst of all my fear
You're my refuge and my hope
When the storm of life is raging
And the thunder's all I hear
You speak softly to my soul
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3 comments:
Miss Amy,
I can totally relate! It seems like I'm doing a lot of grown up things in life, yet I still feel like the little boy who once played cowboys and indians with play guns and broomstick horses. Yet through every age and new experience, God is great! Keep pursuing Him, choosing joy through every part of your life. God bless sis, Brent
P.S. Congrats on your first post in apx 2 months: )
Ha! That's hilarious...I love the broomstick horses...those can really go fast!!! jk
Thanks Brent for reminding me on my posting skills! I've had this one written I just haven't had a chance to post it!
Amy, that is great and don't we all learn that. Some of us (you and me for sure) I don't think will ever feel grown up. But, that is not necessarily a bad thing as we take the world by storm. I hope you never loose the energy or passion God has granted you as a passenger in the short yet long feeling drive. I would rather think of it as putting my life on cruise control as then I sit back but still pay attention. (as a passenger I really don't so much-especially in the back seat) but I loved your analogy and how it was put. Much love Ms. Paasch.
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